I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I need to wash the frat house off of me
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
