Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My dick has a subreddit
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Randomize
