I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
