I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
