I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
