the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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