i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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