he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
