i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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