I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
