i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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