it's too hot outside to masturbate.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
