So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
