my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize