Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
