just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
