Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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