call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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