you guys were way drunker than both of me
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
