im drinking this country out of the recession.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just had sex on a roof
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
