my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
