Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
