We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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