Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We talked him into tasing himself.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
