"it" just moved
Please, let me fuck your mom
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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