I'm going to rape someone's good day.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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