How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
