im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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