puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
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