she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
