And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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