It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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