Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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