I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
