The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Randomize
