I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
