the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
