dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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