Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize