Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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