mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
