if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
