can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
