My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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