OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
