Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
