its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
