Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
