drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Dear god my vagina.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
