I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
