I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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