Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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