I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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