tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
