Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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