I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize