my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
