I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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