11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
