Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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