I want you more than these girls want KFC
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
